You Have Died of Dysentery

The Internet – In a shocking turn of events this afternoon, all of the Internet unanimously voted to have Blizzard Entertainment henceforth and forever more, design, publish and distribute every PC game ever to  be made, ever.

“It was a natural decision,” said famed internet nerd Cory Hendricksen, speaking from a shoddily constructed podium in his Uncle Todd’s rumpus room, “They don’t strangle us with draconian DRM, they make great quality products and they’d never give us a garbage, shovelware port either.”

He added, “I just hope that my children’s children can look forward to Diablo 3.”